“If I have to keep looking deep 

Down inside of you all the time, 

Is it really there?”

You said to me after I told you 

That you know deep down inside of me, 

I love you,

But I really do love you though, 

I swear.

First when I heard those words,

I considered all that I had done for you.

How much I try to take care of your health,

How much I try to be the way you ask me to be,

And how much I try to do everything I can for you.

None of this is negative,

But I gave away my all for you,

And I tried my hardest to show my sincere love

For you in all these ways.

Is it selfish of me to think of this first?

As if I did all this so that you would notice 

Or that I am expecting you to do just as much for me?

I never expect anything like that from you though,

I swear.

Yet you never believe me.

Anything genuine I say to you, you dissect,

Claiming you know which part is the truth

And which part is the lie.

I never lie to you to be mean though,

I swear.

Secondly, when I hear those words,

I think, how much do you really know me?

Or how much do I really know you?

I do know you never get angry at me;

However, I am not a saint like you

Or whatever pure being you may be.

I am first and foremost a human being with emotions.

Like Job, I care and that is why I get angry with you.

But I never try to let it get in the way of me loving you though,

I swear.

Despite all this swearing, though,

Is it really of any use?

You are not going to listen to me anyway.

You have your own definitions and image of me

Through which none of my justification,

No matter how sincere they be,

Could ever jut through and repair.

If you have to keep looking deep

Down inside me all the time,

Is it really there?

You said this yourself to me,

But I wonder, is your love for me really there?

What is the point if you will never 

Value my love for you?

It is so deep,

I do not even know if it is there myself,

For I have strained my eyes from looking 

On your behalf so often.